Saturday, September 24, 2011

Nude Nuns with Big Guns (2010)



Director: Joseph Guzman

Starring: Asun Ortega, David Castro, Perry D'Marco, Maxie J. Santillan Jr., Ivet Corvea, Aycil Yeltan

More info: IMDb

Tagline: This Sister Is One Bad Mother

Plot: Upon taking her vows to become a nun, Sister Sarah is abused, brainwashed and drugged into submission by the corrupt clergy. On the verge of death from a lethal dose of drugs, Sister Sarah receives a message from GOD telling her to take vengeance on all those who did her wrong. Armed with God's will and an arsenal of big guns, she dispenses Judgment Day on her former tormentors. When the church hires the merciless motorcycle gang the "Los Muertos" to track down and kill her they soon realize that this SISTER IS ONE BAD MOTHER.


My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? I'd say that's a given.

Part of the Nunsploitation Project (July & August 2013). Click here for more naughty nun insanity!


With a title like that there's no way I would pass this up. Sign me up for the DVD whenever it gets released here in the US (the Brits have it, though. Lucky bastards). As the picture began it was one thing after another that pissed me off like the blatant music ripoff of Robert Rodriguez's theme from GRINDHOUSE (2007) and the obvious Rodriguez & Tarantino homages left and right. But once I got settled in and realized I needed to let it go, this got real fun, real fast. If I didn't know better I would have thought this could have been directed (or at least produced) by Rodriguez himself (except for the critical reasons listed below), and that's a compliment to the director, Joseph Guzman. It's his second picture, the first being, RUN! BITCH! RUN! (2009) which I'm going to have to get and fast. I'm diggin' this cat.


NNwBG has grindhouse cinema exploitation written all over it. It's Nunsploitation, action, gore, gratuitous nudity. It's outrageous and, for the most part, it's well acted, much better than you would expect. There are a few actors that don't measure up to others but usually in these types of flicks you get mediocre to worse so it's always a pleasant surprise when someone turns in a good one.


The nun-on-a-rampage climax is bloody as hell and there's a neat and quick setup for a potential sequel which gets me all kinds of excited. Like a lot of low budget films of this nature, the pacing can be a little rough. There were some scenes that felt like they went a few seconds too long. You could probably lose a few minutes in tightening it up a little and it would fly by. Beats me. I've never made a movie so what the fuck do I know. It felt like that with a little extra work, this could be one hell of an action revenge picture. As it stands, I'm completely satisfied and surprised it turned out as well as it did. Having watched so many movies of this kind it's easy to be jaded and skeptical. I didn't think nothing much would live up to the what this picture could deliver with such a great poster, tagline and title. Now where's the damn DVD, fellas?

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